First, a little history.
Your overachieving male ancestors set the bar a bit high, and you may have fallen somewhat short of their manly accomplishments.
Before most of them reached their twenty-first birthdays, most of your great-grandfathers defeated the Nazi’s and saved Europe. And, to make sure the rest of the world knew they were serious, in 1945 they dropped two atomic bombs on Japan. No reading between the lines – great grandpa was a bad ass, and the leaders of his day knew how to make tough decisions. After the war, they came home, used the GI Bill to become educated, hard workers, and went to work creating the greatest society ever seen on the planet. That was your grandfather’s hardcore dad.
Then, in the sixties and seventies, some of your lionhearted grandfathers stomped through snake infested Vietnamese rice paddies in worn out jungle boots. They were mostly drafted into military service by an indifferent, dishonest government. They did their duty, returned stateside, worked hard to build and realize the American Dream, and are now the hard fisted, gray bearded leathery dudes you see cruising down the boulevard on their shiny Harley-Davidson’s. And, yeah, as weird as it seems, that is grandma riding bitch on the back!
Your pop stared down the Soviet bear, won the cold war, and defeated communism. In their spare time they invented the Internet and MMA cage fighting.
After 9/11, some of your older brothers (and sisters) answered the call, and have served several tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. They are a new breed of warrior, and are returning to a challenging world, where the rules are constantly changing, and the only thing certain is uncertainty. They are hard.
Meanwhile, some of you are still sleeping on the old smelly couch in the parent’s basement. Every few hours you emerge from your online gaming session, pasty skinned and bleary-eyed, to raid the refrigerator in search of Mountain Dew and some cold, leftover mac and cheese. In just a few generations our male culture has become a bunch of heavily medicated bed-wetters and unmotivated Harry Potterized wizards. You have reached every advanced level of Call of Duty Elite, but you don’t know how to operate the microwave to make your own damn supper.
Some of you are still sucking at Mommy’s tit. Get off the tit!
